A phrase from a book by John Bevere, “Extraordinary” caught my attention and gave some food for thought concerning parenting.
“The parents tell their children to do things they themselves don’t do, or they tell them to not do things they do. Many parents tell their children not to fight; yet they regularly fight before them. Then the parents wonder why their children fight."
This phrase caught my attention as it reminded me of the principle, “Do to others as you would have them do to you” (Luke 6:31). I am reminded of the occasions where I raised my voice or spoke harshly to my children when they were disobedient. These are the emotional moments that I thought I could have done better. I am reminded that our children pick up the habits and manners from us, parents. Hence, the way we relate to our children emotionally and intellectually is especially crucial during their formative years. We are setting the examples for them.
To do these consistently is never easy especially when you could be emotionally drained after a long day at work. Thus, I want to constantly remind myself that I need to:
(1) ensure reserve in my emotion bank daily when I return home
(2) know that my children will make mistakes and need my guidance regularly, just like you and I even when we are adults
(3) know that frustration will breed more frustrations while patience and love serve as the platform for positive growth in my children
For me, parenting is not just a journey of knowing my children and molding their characters, it is also a precious journey filled with self-discovery for me – a deeper awareness of my strengths and weaknesses. I have certainly learnt a lot about myself since I became a parent. Besides my children, I am sure that God is also molding me through this journey.
